Politics & Rants

Screw the Debates - Here's the REAL Dirty:

Ah. This debate sh*t again. How grand. We say that with every last festering measure of venom it warrants.

So, the casual follower of the chamber-pot that is American Politics might not quite fully grasp the carnival at hand. It looks rather chaotic from the outside, but in reality, this entire fracas was choreographed from the outset. Rigged. In the bag. The gentry RePublicons had a plan, stuffed aces up their sleeves, and were preparing to disenfranchise the American voter. Again. Like all the other times in living memory.

The current knife-fight on the debate floor is the establishment trying to switch gears. Their plan thus far has been to split the field with a huge number of candidates, screw with the primary rules on a state-by-state basis, and then eek one of their muppets into the nomination with about twenty percent of the total RePubliCAN'T vote. Most of the people running are "splitters," (some clueless stool-pigeons, others willing patsies), who the bigwigs know can't win - but they can chip off ten or fifteen percent in their home states - many of which have been turned into "winner-take-all bonanzas." Goober-Graham has no shot at the big chair or even the fucking cabinet - but he can shave off enough votes that La Jebster or Reprobate Rubio swipes the entire state of South Carolina.

Welcome to "The Plan" - concocted by the corruptocrat shit-birds wrangling the Republican party to make sure that "the enemy" stays away from any real levers of power. Oh... you thought we meant the Prog-nazi's there didn't you. No silly constant reader... the "enemy" is Patriotic America. The Moonbats are just colleagues with slightly different notions on how to fleece the sheep of their wealth, liberty and dignity. "A different without meaningful distinction" as Mike Hendrix is fond of saying.

However... the plot is failing in the face of non-establishment types taking off with the entire shebang. The powers that be intended to keep the wakko-bird-hobbits split on those Bill Quick labeled "The-No-Hopers" while a D.C. approved reptile slithers into the lead. But, to the shock and dismay of the world's Bill Kristol's, none of the vomit-piles are getting significant support - and instead of having to chip off five or six percent to steal each state, the Republican establishment has to try and beat twenty-two and thirty-two respectively.

Here are the leash-holder's pets, and here was/is their prescribed roles:
(We've gone ahead and given some friendly nick-names to these chaps... consider them terms of endearment - our granting every ounce of respect due to our failed banana republic and it's bullshit kabuki-dance election).

- Huckster-B: Splitter for the evangelicals.

- Ricky Sweatervest: Splitter for the pearl-clutching bible-thumpers. Splitter for Iowa.

- Randy "McConnell's Bitch" Paul: Splitter for the libertarian faction.

- Lindsey Goober-Graham: Splitter for South Carolina.

- Krispy-Kreme-Kristy: Splitter for New Jersey.

- Lil'Piyush Jindal: A splitter for the non-religious social cons.

- Gutless Gilmore: Splitter for Virginia.

- Special Ted Cruz: Splitter for the Tea party. Splitter for Texas.

- La Jebster: Establishment Preferred candidate.

- Rancid Rubio: Establishment Backup Candidate.

- Kommie Kasich: Splitter for Ohio.

- Prancing Pataki: Splitter for New York.

- Rick "Nigger-Rock" Perry: Splitter for Texas.

- C.F. Horseface: Establishment Backup Candidate.

- Uncle Ben Carson: Was intended to be a splitter for the "safety-mom" and fiscal-cons, but he went off script and the Bubbas loved it. Instead of five percent as intended, he's pulling twenty percent, and is a problem. But a manageable one. (See Below).

- Weasel-Hair Trump: Was supposed to be a carnival side-show, then he started feeding the media, SJW's and political establishment their asses. He looked at the fissure in the middle of the Republican party and slammed his flag into the middle of it. Instead of withdrawing to jeers and selling a book after three months, he's polling thirty-three percent and is a BIG-FUCKING-PROBLEM.

The above blueprint won't work anymore - fat-head-Rove's "strategery" went off in his hand like a faulty M67. As a result, we see a BIG push by the doner class to shove out the splitters, and combine all the "establishment republican" support behind one good supplicant boot-licker. The new hope is to coalesce around a single mush-sack, rig the primary voting process on the fly, stuff ballot boxes, deny delegates, cancel caucus's, flood the air with millions in attack ads, and attempt to knock the anti's out in a few crucial states. In the mean time, the "alternates" are gong to be Kung-fu fighting the next few weeks - a match to determine who get's to be oligarchy's stooge.

You'll continue to see the kiddie gloves on Carson, since he's splitting the "burn-it-down" vote with Trump. The ass-weasels absolutely need him in the race, otherwise all his support shifts back to Teflon Don, and the mogul sweeps the entire primary. The Chamber of Commerce knows they can effortlessly decimate Carson once Trump is vanquished. The man lacks the money to fight, the corporatists will choke his meager funding when he needs it most, and by the time the Republican leaders finish leaking opposition research to Poitico, Carson will be Herman-Cain sans the harem.

Trump is another story... We're not joking when we tell you they are probably considering rigging a plane crash as we speak.

Anticipate EPIC levels of skulduggery, debauchery and douchbaggery from the cunts in the RepubliCAN'T party leadership.

To Wit:
- Colorado Republicans cancel presidential vote at 2016 caucus
- Iowa GOP cancels 2015 Straw Poll
- Washington State Will Have a 2016 Presidential Primary, but Caucuses, too

Ladies and gentlemen - your illegitimate, choreographed, and wholly malleable electoral system. "Rule of law" our assholes. The last thing the "managers" want is the serfs having actual representation. They will move mountains to assure we never get even a fleeting lick of it.